Live Again
by oconnellsmummygirl
Summary: What if Evelyn hadn't survived Ahm Shere? A year after Rick, Alex, and Jonathan's lives have been shattered over Evelyn's death, an old friend of Rick's shows up. Can she help them learn to live agian?
1. Reunited

Author: O'connells_mummy_girl  
  
Contact: sweetcake904@yahoo.com, website http://www.geocities.com/oconnells_mummy_girl/index.com  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, none of it's mine. You all know what/who belongs to Mr.Sommers and Universal. Danielle belongs to my good friend Danielle (Dani_Oconnell, read her stories). Thanks Dani for letting me borrow her for a little while!!  
  
Summary: What if Evelyn hadn't survived Ahm Shere? A year after Rick, Alex, and Jonathan's lives have been shattered over Evelyn's death, an old friend of Rick's shows up. Can she help them learn to live agian?  
  
Live Again  
  
Chapter One; Reunited  
  
Rick shut his eyes agianst the sunlight that crept through the window of one of the many guest rooms in O'connell Manor. He wasn't sure what he hated more, day or night. Then again, did it really matter? He couldn't sleep either way. For the past year everytime he tried Rick was haunted by the memory of watching his love die and the feeling of his world coming down around him. Her last words ringing in his ears, the image of her being impaled on that sword playing over and over agian in his mind.  
  
With a heavy sigh, Rick pulled himself out of the bed, slipping into the pants he had worn yesterday, he made his way down the long hall and into the kitchen where Jonathan was sitting with a cup of coffee and a news paper.   
  
"Morning O'connell." Jonathan greeted, looking up from the paper at his brother-in-law.  
  
"Morning Jonathan." Rick said as he poured himself some coffee and sat down at the table,"Have you seen Alex yet today?"  
  
"Not yet. The big guy is still sleeping."  
  
Rick nodded, a slight pang of joy and pain hit him at the thought of his son. Alex had kept a stiff upper lip through this whole thing. Rick knew the boy was suffering just as much as his father was, but a trait that was inherited from Rick ran strong with Alex. Hidding emotion whenever possible. That was something they'd--  
  
"Are you arlight, O'connell?" Jonathan asked, stoping his train of thought.  
  
"Yeah.... what would give you the idea I'm not?"  
  
"Well the coffee you make may be a little odd, but it isn't *that* interesting." he gestured to the mug Rick had just been staring into.  
  
"Oh, I suppose not." he gave a weak smile,"Guess I just got lost in thought."  
  
Jonathan smiled back in the same manner, showing that he understood.  
  
They bolth looked over as the kitchen door swung open ad Alex walked in, bare feet shuffling agianst the cold tile.  
  
"Finally Saturday, huh?" Rick asked.  
  
Alex looked up at his father then nodded without saying a word and took a seat at the table.  
  
Rick's smile disapeard,"So, uh, you hungry buddy?" he asked, knowing all to well how his son would reply. They went through this everyday.   
  
Alex just shook his head and continued to stare into space. Exactly what his father had expected.  
  
As he sat down, Rick decided that he wasn't going to let them mope around the house all day agian,"What do you two say that we go into town and do something?"  
  
Jonathan looked up,"Accualy, O'connell, I'm kind of busy today, but you two should deffinately go." he offered, glad to see that his brother accualy wanted to get out.  
  
"I'll go." said Alex, surprising bolth men. Over the past year he hadn't spoken unless he absoluetly needed to, let alone agreed to take part in any activities.  
  
Rick grinned,"Good... I'll go get ready then."  
  
**********  
  
Danielle Johnson sat across the table from her date at a fancy French restraunt on the outskirts of London. Okay, so when he had asked her out when she got off the boat from Cairo she figured it wouldn't hurt. She had no clue where anything in London was and since he had been there a few times, maybe he could show her around a bit.  
  
That was a mistake. Not only was he boring, he was a concided jerk.   
  
Hidding a yawn behind her hand as he droned on and on about himself. 'That's it.' Dani thought, and picked up her plate, quickly smashing his face into it.   
  
**********  
  
Rick and Alex were sitting a couple tables away at the same restraunt, having just finished their lunch, they were planning their next move.  
  
Bolth of them looked up when they heard a commotion and spoted a man sitting with a stunned look on his face, trying to wipe off the food his date had just smotherd him in.  
  
Rick looked over in time to see the woman disapear into the women's restroom. 'Why on earth had she seemed so familiar?' he asked himself,'That couldn't have been? No, impossible...'  
  
"Dad?" Alex asked as he waved a hand infront of his fathers face,"You okay?"  
  
Giving Alex a slight grin and turning his attention back to his boy, Rick chuckled a bit,"Yeah, fine, sorry."  
  
"It's okay." he said with a shrugg,"Anyway... like I was saying I thought that maybe we could go to the park and feed the ducks. Then if it was okay with you, I'd kind of like to go to the mu--"  
  
"Wait a second, okay buddy?" without waiting for an answer, Rick stood up and made his way over to the lady who had just came back out of the bathroom. He caught her right before she left, gently grabbing her arm and turning her around. Now he was sure that it was her,"Danielle?!"  
  
**********  
  
Notes: Alright, I know! I know! The majority of you are probably mad at me for killing Evy. All I want to say (and I hope I don't sound to meen) is that I don't want to hear it.... I didn't *make* you read this story, so please don't bitch at me. I love Evy. She's a wonderful character and Rachel is my fave actress, but I needed to write this.   
  
Shall I continue?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Back Together

Live Agian   
  
Chapter Two; Together Agian   
  
Alex ran into the house with Rick close behind, side by side with Danielle, who was in a state of shock at the manor.   
  
"Are you *sure* you live here?" she asked quietly.   
  
Rick shrugged,"Well when we left we did, but knowing Jonathan and his gambling habbits, I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't." he joked. Even though he knew it wasn't true anymore. Since Evy died Jonathan had been very well behaved, rarely drinking or gambling.   
  
"Who's Jonathan?" Dani asked curiously.   
  
"Brother-in-law."   
  
She nodded and looked around the living room, taking everything in,"How on earth did you afford all of this, Rick?"   
  
"You go on enough digs you're bound to get lucky sometime." he said with a shrug.   
  
Dani smiled and walked past him, still glancing around, amazed by all of this. After a little while she turned to see Rick watching her,"What?"   
  
With a heavy sigh Rick explained,"I can't belive little Dani is all grown up... I feel old."   
  
"Well look at you! I didn't think you were going to survive a day out of that orphanage! Let alone this well." Dani joked, a wide grin on her face,"Richard O'connell, a father? I never thought I would see the day."   
  
"I didn't think so either the last time we saw each other. People change I guess... Obviously not you, but the way you treated your date."   
  
"Well he was a jerk!" she deffended.   
  
"Yep, that's the fourteen year old Dani I left back at the orphanage."   
  
Shaking his head and grinning widely, Rick picked up her bags and took her up the stairs and into the room at the end of the hall,"Okay, here's your room. Mine is two doors down incase you need anything at night. I'll let you get settled in and I'll be in the living room when you're done." Rick informed then left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.   
  
**********   
  
It was about fifteen minuets later that Dani made her way down the large staircase, into the living room where Rick was sitting, holding a small framed picture, oblivious to her. "Hey, you okay?" she asked quietly, moving slightly forward.   
  
Rick jump a bit, not having noticed she was there, quickly laying the picture face down on the coffee table infront of him like a kid caught with something he shouldn't have. "Fine. I'm fine. Guess I was just lost in my own world."   
  
Dani looked from the picture on the table up into his eyes. Those crystal blue eyes she had always remembered as being filled with life and a love for adventuer. She couldn't help but notice there was something missing from them. That passion for living was no where to be seen. "Possitive you're okay?"   
"Absoluetly." Rick assured, trying his best to smile reasuingly, but getting the feeling that he hadn't succeeded.   
  
She nodded and finally walked over, sitting next to him on the couch. She leaned over and picked up the frame. A picture of a slender woman with fairly long brown hair, sparkling brown eyes that held the same life that Rick's used to, and a cheerful smile standing with Rick behind her, his arms around her waist, bolth grinning at the camera. "Your wife? She's beautiful." Danielle commented.   
  
"Yeah... incredably." he agreed, hoping that she hadn't heard the sadness in his voice.   
  
"So when do I get to meet this Miss Wonderful, huh?"   
  
Rick looked away from her, down at his hands, fiddling with the wedding ring he still wore,"She... umm... well it's, it's just me and Alex." he stated, just barely keeping himself from choking on the words.   
  
Dani felt bad about having mentioned it now,"Oh." she breathed, it was almost impossible to hear her,"I'm sorry, Rick. I-I-"   
  
Glancing back up at her, he gave a bit of a shrug,"It's not your fault."   
  
"I say! Alex told me we had a guest!" Jonathan said cheerfully, walking into the room, a large grin on his face,"But he didn't tell me she was so radiant." he added, turning on the charm, ignoring the warning glare given to him by his brother-in-law.   
  
"Jonathan I presume." Dani gave Rick's shoulder a reasuring squeeze, then stood up and holding her hand out for Jonathan to shake,"Rick told me about you. Danielle Johnson."   
  
He gently took her hand, shaking it softly, deciding agianst kissing it because of the look Rick was giving him,"Jonathan Carnahan. Pleasure meeting you, Miss Johnson."   
  
"It's just Dani." she told him.  
  
"Alright, Dani." He agreed, then turned as Alex ran down the stairs.   
  
"Uncle Jon, come play chess with me." the boy said excidedly.   
  
Jonathan smiled and started back up the stairs with his nephew,"Can't we just call it a draw right now...?"   
  
As their voices fadded down the hall, Rick stood up, shaking his head. "How about a walk? Beautiful country out here." he offered, extending his hand for Dani to take.   
  
**********   
  
It was a clear, sunny day, and the vibrant yellows, reds, and oranges of the leaves seemed to brighten up the day even more. For quite some time while Rick and Danielle walked hand in hand down the old backroad, the only sounds that could be heard were the birds singing in the trees, and the quiet sound of their steps on the gravel.  
  
Dani watched him for a while. He just stared at the trees as they slowly passed, then up at the blue sky for a minuet before looking back at the trees, obviously deep in thought. She sighed and gave his hand a squeeze before breaking the silence,"So where are you taking me?"  
  
Rick looked down at her as he felt her hand tighten on his, then shrugged,"Not anywhere really... there's not a whole lot in this direction... it's just been a while since I've been out of the house."  
  
"You? Always in the house?" Dani said in shock,"You really *have* changed."  
  
He shrugged again,"Guess so." he almost whispered, turning his gaze to the groud as the awkward silence came over them once more. In a few minuets he cleared his throat,"Anyway, what have you been doing since you finally got free from the orphanage?"  
  
She sighed agian,"Anything I can find to keep myself busy."  
  
He nodded,"How was Mrs.Peterson after I left?"  
  
"A bigger bitch then before." Dani answered quickly. Mrs.Peterson had been the head of the orphanage, and Rick and Dani had not been her favorite kids... not that she had been their favorite person in the world either.  
  
Rick laughed,"That's *possible*?"   
  
"Definitely. You weren't there to help me get back at her, I was a one man team." Danielle smiled,"All your girls missed you, you know. They were crying for weeks."  
  
"Of course they were." Rick joked,"How could they not?"  
  
Dani rolled her eyes,"Glad to see you're still modest."  
  
"Mmhmm." he agreed with a nod,"More then ever. How did all the guys that I kept pounding to keep away from you fair?"  
  
She giggled,"A few of them got a chance. I still never saw Josh again, since that one day you two went to go get sodas and you came back alone..."  
  
Rick grinned evily,"I saw him everyonce in a while, but he always ran like hell to get away."  
  
"You're horrible! I never scared any of your girlfriends away."  
  
"Not intentionally anyway." he corrected,"They were all *scared* of you. Most of them thought you were absolutely loony."  
  
"Hey! And do I have to remind you that I was completely innocent until a certain someone got to me and taught me all his tricks."  
  
"You were two... you could have turned out like that on your own. You can't completely blame me!" Rick argued.  
  
"Everyone else does."  
  
He glared at her playfully and she gave him a light punch in the arm,"Come on." she said, letting go of him and running back towards the house,"Betcha you still can't catch me!"  
  
**********  
A few hours after dinner Alex was asleep in his room, Jonathan had gone out for the night, and Rick and Dani were settled in the living room.  
  
Rick got a fire going then walked over to the couch and slid back under the warm blanket him and Dani were sharing. He picked up his mug of hot chocolate and settled back. They had spent the day reminiscing their childhood memories of their time at the orphanage, and were now telling about what had happened since then.  
  
Danielle sighed and took a sip of her hot chocolate,"So did you ever go back to America?"  
  
He shook his head,"No, I joined the legion almost right away, then almost got killed for deserting, then I lived in Cairo for about a year before moving here." he explained, trying to aviod the subject of Evelyn.   
  
She nodded slowly,"I loved it there and all... but it just didn't feel like home. We had always promised that we'd moved there together, and without you it was just... empty really."  
  
Rick looked at her, feeling guilty,"I'm sorry Dani. I should have atleast wrote to you... I just... got myself into alot of trouble and never really thought of anything besides me. By the time I was finally on the right path I figured there was no possible way I could ever get ahold of you."  
  
"I know how you feel. You were all over the place, I'm just lucky I found you."  
  
He sighed,"Well I don't think I'm going anywhere for a long time now." Rick told her, directing his gaze out of the window.  
  
Danielle gave him a look that seemed to be pleading with him in someway. Her eyes fell on the picture frame that was still sitting on the table and she picked it up and looked over the picture again,"So how long ago did she..."  
  
"A little over a year." he said quietly, still looking out of the window, not saying anymore on the subject.  
  
"What was she like?"  
  
He stared blankly over at Dani for a minuet then stood up,"I'm going to bed."  
  
"Rick--"  
  
"Good night." he interupted, then disapeared up the stairs.  
**********  
more to come....  
note: sorry this took so long, I changed my mind and took this story in a much different direction then where I was going to in the first place. It shouldn't be to long until I get the rest up. 


	3. Breakthroughs

Live Again  
  
Chapter Three; Breakthroughs  
  
A week later...  
  
Danielle sat at the table in the kitchen. Infront of her sat a salt shaker and a pile of salt, which she was using a pair of tweezers to pick up, grain by grain, and drop into the little holes at the top of the shaker. She jumped and almost knocked the salt shaker over as Rick ploped down next to her.  
  
Rick gave her a crooked grin,"You know, there is an easier way to do that."  
  
She groaned slaming the tweezers down,"We've been stuck in the house for three days cause it wont stop raining! There's nothing to do! I'm about to go back to America." she complained, frowing as she rested her chin on the table.  
  
"Oh grow up." Rick told her, sitting down in the nearest chair. He sighed heavily, looking around and trying to find something to entertain himself with,"It's not that bad."  
  
"*Yes* it *is*." Dani growled, still frowning.  
  
"Dont be so stubborn. There's got to be something you and Jonathan havn't broken yet." Rick suggested, finally picking up the tweezers himself and starting in on the pile,"Maybe you two could go out and ransack London."  
  
She glared over at him,"I dont feel like it."  
  
He shook his head and bushed the left over salt off the table into his hand then stood up and dumped it into the trash can. Instead of sitting back down, he leaned back against the counter,"Ya know... it's kind of funny how you just get used to things." Rick commented,"Then one day they're enough to drive you insane."  
  
Danielle looked up at him, not really expecting to hear that. There was something strange about it. It just.... wasn't Rick.  
  
He sighed and closed his eyes.   
  
When he looked back over at her, she saw the lost look in them. A desprate look that seemed to be pleading with her to help him. And when he blinked, it was gone.  
  
"Wha-What do you meen?" she asked quietly, obviously unsure of herself.  
  
"The rain.... The rain didn't used to bug me so much." And how could it have? On rainy days he used to have his wife safe an in his arms. The family would get together and play games, or just read together. When Alex was little they would take them out to splash in mud puddles.... And those rainy nights, when they made love for hours, and fell asleep snuggled in each others arms, listening to the pitter-patter of rain on the roof and against the window.  
  
"That's good." Dani said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a little,"For a second there I thought you were talking about me."  
  
Rick laughed slightly and looked back to her,"No, I was never used to you. You've always driven me insane."  
  
Her jaw droped and she gave him a framed shocked look,"I'll show you insane!" she called, jumping up as Rick took off out of the room, her hot on his tail.   
  
**********  
  
"Rick! It stoped raining! It stoped raining!" Danielle exclaimed, throwing open the door and running over to jump into the bed, almost landing on him. She began to shake him when he didn't answer,"Ricki! The rain stoped! Come on! Let's go do something!"  
  
With a moan, Rick rolled onto his side and squinted up at her,"What time is it?" he murmmered, trying to clear his vison.  
  
She grabed his arm and pulled it close to her face so she could see his watch,"....Three thirty."  
  
Rick groaned loudly and turned his back to her,"Go back to bed, Dani."  
  
Dani sat there pouting for a mnuet, then moved closer and floped down onto him,"But what if it starts to rain again?! Then we're never gonna get outta here!"  
  
He yawned and shrugged her off of him, pulling the blankets up over them and tucking her under his arm.  
  
She sighed in defeat and closed her eyes. Enjoying the warmth of her big brothers embrace like she hadn't since she was a little child come running to him because she was scared of a storm or the monsters under her bed, she slowly slipped into sleep.  
  
**********  
  
He woke with a start, gasping for air as he sat up.  
  
His sudden movement was what woke Dani and she tossed over to her other side to look up at him,"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." Rick said, quickly. He yanked the blanket off of himself and stood up so fast that it made him dizy for a second.   
  
Now fully awake, Danielle sat up,"What happened?"  
  
"Nothing." he repeated,"It's just what I get for sleeping."  
  
"Bad dream?" she asked, and waited in silence for a long time for the answer that never came. "Wanna talk about it?"  
  
Rick stayed silent as he picked out his clothes for the day and headed for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.   
  
Dani just stared at the door in shock that he would blow her off like that. After a minuet, she pulled herself up and hurried to the dresser, opening up the little jewlery box and pulling out a hair pin. She stuck it in the lock and picked it expertly like Rick had taught her to do when they were kids. "You'd better not be naked, cause I'm comin' in." Dani warned as she steped in.  
  
Rick glanced over at her then picked up his toothbrush and turned on the facet.   
  
She pouted again,"You always forced me to tell you what was wrong when something was upsetting me."  
  
He sighed and set the toothbrush down, resting his hands on her shoulders and holding her out at arms length,"I'm alright, okay? I'm used to it by now, and it's no big deal."  
  
"Well it obviously is a big deal if it's getting to you like this!" she argued as she lifted herself up onto the counter.  
  
He looked up at her with obvious pain in his eyes,"I just miss Evelyn, okay?!"  
  
Danielle reached out to touch his shoulder,"Why can't you just tell me this stuff?"  
  
"I told you I dont want to talk about it." Rick told her firmly, turning to leave.   
  
She jumped off the counter and followed him out of the room,"Why not?"  
  
"Because I don't want to."  
  
"*Why*?"  
  
"Because I *dont want to*!"  
  
"But why?!"  
  
"Beacuse I--"  
  
"Am emotionaly constipated." she cut in.  
  
Rick glared at her and was just about to leave when she grabed him and hugged him."Sorry." she whispered, knowing she should just leave it alone for now.  
  
He clung to her, resting his cheek against her shoulder as he closed his eyes against the tears forming."No, I'm sorry. I shoudn't have snaped at you like that, you're just trying to help." he told her softly, sniffling as he loosened his grip on her.  
  
Dani looked up at him as she realized he was crying. She reached up and used her thumb to remove the tear that had escaped down his cheek. The gesture felt odd and she pulled her hand back quickly. She had never seen him cry. Not once in all the time she had known him.  
  
Rick let out a shaky sigh and crossed over to the dresser, pulling out a shirt and slipping into it.   
  
They stood in silence for a moment before she went over to where he was standing at the window with his back turned to her, and wraped her arms around his waist,"You know, it's okay to cry. No one's gonna think any less of you."  
  
He leaned his forehead against the glass, letting the coolness of it calm him.  
  
After a few minuets of nothing she let go of him,"Just let me know when you need to talk."  
  
When she was just about to disapear out of sight down the hall, Rick pulled back from the window, pressing his hand against it as if there was something there just out of reach."How am I supposed to live without her?"  
  
The question had been barely a whisper, but she had heard him, and froze in her place.  
  
Rick's fingers trailed a line down the glass before he slowly turned and looked at her,"...Why do I have to?"  
  
  
*********  
  
Alright.... I could not get past this part..... I will eventualy, so this is only the first part of chapter 3, and the next part should be up.... sometime..... 


	4. Breakthroughs Cont....

Live Again  
  
Breakthroughs Continued....  
  
She took an unsure step towards him, then froze in her place as he stared over at her with the same lost look she had seen before obvious in his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and as hard as he tried to stop it his words came out in a sob,"I can't...."  
  
She was at his side as he fell back agasint the wall and sank to the floor, and took him into her arms. As much as she hated seeing him like this, sobbs racking his shaking frame, tears running rivers down his cheeks, she thanked god she had gotten through to him before holding all of this in completely destroyed him.  
  
Rick clung tightly to her, crying. For all the times he had forced himself to hold it in. For all the years together him and Evy had lost in those few short moments. For all the things he had left unsaid and would never get to tell her. Rick cried for his son left without a mother.... and for himself left without the love of his life.   
  
Danielle held him like that for a long time, rocking him softly, until the sobs subsided. But when he looked up at her tears were still running down his face, and when he tried to talk he still couldn't find enough strength to let it out.   
  
"Shhh." she whispered, running her fingers back through his hair, letting him know he didn't have to talk right now.  
  
He sniffled slightly, closing his eyes and resting his head against her shoulder. They sat like that for a few more moments, tears still silently rolled down his cheeks. When he found his vioce he managed a megar whisper,"I rarely told her I loved her....."  
  
Dani tightened her arms around his shoulders slightly, resting her head against his,"I'm sure she knew."  
  
"I used to think so.......... I'm no good with words........ I always tried to show her...... and I always thought she knew.... but then....." he trailed off, sniffling again, rubbing his red eyes as another round of tears pooled in them.  
  
"She knew." she whispered to him,"She knew. I think it's rather obvious ho much you loved her."   
  
He let out a shuttering sigh,"She ment everything to me........... she was an angel. My angel........ she saved my life then turned me around and showed me I didn't have to live like I had been.. She showed me someone cared about me.......... she was all I ever wanted or needed...... she was amazing..."  
  
She gazed down at him, giving him a weak smile as he talked, not quite sure what to say now. Like him, words never came easy to her. Expecally when it came to helping him now. He had always been the strong one. Nothing ever bugged him, and if something did, it had always been so easy for him to just get rid of the problem. She had never seen him cry, she had never seen him the least bit helpless. This was a weird, hard possition for her to be in. It didn't help that she hadn't known Evelyn, and didn't know much of what had happened to him since he was eight-teen.  
  
Rick stared into her eyes for a minuet before scooting away,"I'm sorry..... I guess I shouldn't have--"  
  
She gently pulled him back down as he atempted to stand on shakey leggs,"I told you you could talk to me, didn't I? I ment it."  
  
He smiled faintly, leaning over and giving her a hug,"Thank you."  
  
She pulled away enough to look up at his face,"I want to help you, Rick...... but I don't think there's much I can do besides listen......" she wraped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and hugging him again,"Talk to Alex..... you need him, and I know he needs you."  
  
He rested his head against hers, nodding slowly in agreement,"I will."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I did it! I finished this chapter! Sorry it took so long, folks, talk about writers block!! The next part wont take so long. I swear!  
  
I told you I'd do it Dani! 


	5. FatherSon Time

Live Again; Chapter 4  
  
Father-Son Time  
  
Alex slamed the door shut behind himself, droping his book bag to the floor with a loud thud and slipping his shoes off. Getting a running start, he sild on his socks down the hall, and promptly smacked into the person rounding the corner.  
  
Rick extended a hand down to help his son off of the floor, pulling him up into his arms for a quick hug,"Hey buddy!"  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and brought both his hands up to remove his fathers as he ruffled his hair affectionately. "Hi dad."  
  
Resting a hand on Alex's shoulder, he steered him into the living room,"How'd school go?"  
  
"Fine." he informed with a heavy sigh, plopping himself down in the big chair, his feet just about touching the floor as he sat back, relaxing. It had been a long day at school, and he was thankful to be home now,"But I would have rather stayed here with you guys."  
  
"Well maybe you can play hookie tomorrow.After all, we do have a guest all the way from America..." He suggested with a wink. His breath caught in his throat when Alex grinned, it just dawning on him how much his son had grown to look like him. He couldn't beleive that he hadn't noticed before, that he had missed so much.  
  
  
  
"Thanks dad!"  
  
Rick nodded in response, and a moment passed before he cleared his throat,"Alex..... I know that this past year has been hard on all of us...I just hope that I havn't disapointed you. As a father, and all...." he said quietly, running a hand back through his hair before rubbing at the nape of his neck.  
  
Alex looked up at him in surprise. Talk of what had happened at Ahm-Shere was rare, expecailly from Rick. Being so much like his father, Alex hadn't ever expressed the need to talk about it, either, and had kept a stiff upper lip as he found ways to just move along with his life. He blinked at his father a couple times, not sure what exactly to say, then reached his arms up to wrap around him,"I love you."  
  
"I love you too." He whispered back to his son, holding him close. After a moment of just hugging, Rick pulled back to look down at him,"She did too, you know." he said quietly, brushing a little hair off of Alex's forehead,"She loved you more then anything." When Alex forced a smile, even as his eyes began to water, Rick placed a hand under his chin and titled his head up to look at him,"It's alright to cry you know. Sometimes it's better to cry."  
  
The nine year old nodded slowly, hanging his head to look down in his lap,"I'm scared, dad..." he whispered,"I'm scared that I'll forget her.... I don't want to forget."  
  
"You wont forget." came the comforting words of his father,"Your mother was an amazing woman, and anyone who ever knew her will never forget her. All you have to do is want to remember. It's alright, Alex, if you can't remember every little detail. She's with us in our hearts. And that's what matters." and Rick knew that all that was true. Deep down he had always known it, but finding it through all the hurt and pain had been an almost impossible task. He realized that time healed all wounds, but first you had to let it.  
  
Leaning in to burry his face in the crook of Rick's neck, Alex nodded again, sniffling a couple times as he blinked to try to stop the tears,"Is it okay to be mad?" he asked quietly,"Would she be disapointed in me for being mad at first, because she left us?"  
  
"No." Rick promised, resting his head against Alex's,"Anger, just like saddness and happiness is an emotion, Alex, and I know I'm not the best person to look to for an example, but it's natural to feel like that, even if it seems irrational. She loved you and you loved her. We're a family, and that means that no matter what another thinks or feels we'll understand. Alright?"  
  
Another nod of the head told Rick that Alex had been hearing him, and he rubbed his back softly,"I love you, Alex. You mean alot to me, you know."  
  
"You too, dad." came the quiet whispered reasponse.  
  
From up on the balcony over looking the living room, Danielle smiled softly. Rick was finally realizing he could live again, this family realized this loss could make them grow even stronger.  
  
END  
  
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I think this might be the end. I was planning on another chapter or two, but it seems like there's not much more to do, and I havn't exactly been dedicated lately. I do, though, have a sequal in mind, involving much more action, past lives, and the such, so if you're interested let me know! 


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